after so long...

I can't online here in my Aunt house... a lot of thing happen but I had no mood to jot them down. I tried to find job for this still long holiday. but none suit me. Had to get one sooner.Now I am in Speed Cyber Cafe with Lance and Louis...damn, rm3 per hour.

Civilization...

I just finished the TITAS exam. It's a tiring paper because of the confusing answer option given. but talking about civilization or tamadun in Malay, there's a few question mentioned about the Civilizing Malaysia. I am wondering wether it brought goodness to the Sabahan etnics, like me. So what am I? My Father is pure Dusun of Tambunan whilst my mother is Kadazan-sino of Inanam (according to my Aunt, Kadazan-sino means more to kadazan instead of Chinese ). So, I'm Dusun. What is that?

I had done few research from various pages and I found some explanation of introduction to Kadazan/Dusun. I'll just cut and paste what I had read from the net.

source: http://www.flw.com/languages/kadazan.htm
Kadazan
Kadazan (Kadazanusan) has several dialects and is spoekn by the Dusun/Kadazan people of Malaysia. There are about 50 indigenous languages of Sabah, all belonging to the Austronesian language family. These languages vary in size from several hundreds to over one hundred thousand speakers. Most of the languages of Sabah belong to one of four subgroups: Bajau (Sama-Bajau), Dusunic, Murutic and Paitanic. The Kadazandusun language belongs to the Dusunic subgroup.

Dusun/Kadazan group is the largest indigenous group in Sabah. They are actually a collectivity of ethnic groups speaking similar languages and dialects as well as having similarities in culture and traditional beliefs. Within this group there exists at least 10 distinct languages with possibly 30 or more dialects. There are some people of this Dusun/Kadazan group who prefer to call themselves Dusun, while others particularly in the Penampang/Papar areas prefer the term Kadazan

Source : http://rymza.blogdrive.com/archive/97.html
Kadazandusun (a.k.a 'Kadus'):

* The largest ethnic group in Sabah, making up 1/3 of the state population.

* Out from 0.8 million Kadus-es all over the world, less than 50% can speak their native language.

* From those 0.4 million (rough estimation) who can speak Kadus, 75% of them are over 40 y.o.

* Less than 5% of those under 25 y.o can speak the language.

* Due to its extreme complexity (in terms of grammar, syntax and semantic), Kadus Language is almost impossible to be taught effectively at schools (using formal and conventional method). It must be nurtured at home, naturally.


Source :http://www.multilingual-matters.net/cilp/001/0415/cilp0010415.pdf#search='kadazan%20dusun'
It's a PDF file. The point of this article is about Kadazan/Dusun Language.

• There are 138 language in Malaysia, of which 54 are indigenous to Sabah (Grimes, 1996)
• 13 indigenous languages are classified under the Dusunic language family.
• ...according to the 1999 Sabah census projection, speakers of kadazan /dusun ethnicity should have numbered 7500,00 by 2000-making it the largest single language community in the State.
• Kadazan/Dusun speaker are mainly ofund along the west coast of Sabah and also extending some distance inland.(Banker & Banker,1984)
• According to Banker & Banker (1984), this language consists of a chanin of dialects that are reasonably understood bye neighbouring communites. But because the language differs in varying degrees, it maybe difficult for one end of the chain to communicate to the other.
• Bahasa Malaysia, the national language of Malaysia since 1963 (Omar, 1984), was selected on the basis of having the greates number of speakers - at the time the Malay people made up more than half of the population of peninsular Malaysia. However, Sabah with 80% of it's population consist of the indigenous ethnic.
• Kadazan/Dusun-beginning, the penampang populace - south-east of the capital Kota kinabalu - was first introduced to literacy through the school-building by Mill Hill Missionaries early 1880 s. Despite the establishment was interupted during WWII, it is resiliently set up again after war. It's known as Native Voluntary Schools in 1960 s.
• They appealed to the local Kadazan and Dusun folk because they `opted to teach literacy to rural folk initially through their local Kadazan or Dusun Dialect only shifting gradually by the third or fourth yeat in English' (Reid ,1997)
• The language underwent vast developments post-war. The year 1953 saw the Language had been introduced in the all-English newspaper Sabah Times. the followed by the Radio Sabah and massive publication of literature.
• During the Nationalisme era (after joining Malaya in 1963), Mother-tongue developent went into decline as ephasis was put on the acquisition of the national language, Bahasa Malaysia(Now they called it Bahasa Melayu.) To safeguard social and economic interests as well as to assist assimilation into the fast-growing Malaysian culture, Kadazan/Dusun Parents had begun to allow the use of the Malay language in the home.
• This did more harm than good when code-mising became evident, slowly removing the need to converse in the mother tongue. (Lasimbang, 1996)
• The now-apparently loss had only begun to be identified in the realy 1980 s. By then, the infiltration of 'broken' Kadazan and Dusun songs into the music industry had added further damage to the situation. Their fun and catchy tunes belied the growing disparaging view held against mother-tongue use by many Kadazan/Dusun speakers.
• Therefore, as has happened in the many other languages situations around the world(Mulhlhausler,1996), modernisation and developement has meant that the ecology of the kadazan /Dusun language chains was breaking down and powerful new languages were entereing that ecology (Bahasa Malaysia and English).

Opps... Maybe I had gone too detail. I'll try to make is as short as possible. (ASAP)

• Common Language/etchnic, nor could they agree to the labels outsider had for them. Since language labellin gworks only if members of a grop open to it , the not un-alike Kadazan and Dusun communities had to conted with the continuing pressure to arrive at a single way of identirying themselves.
• By the 1960's it become obvious that this dilemma was also causing problems for the preservation of the mother tongue. While the desire for the mother-tongue education was central to bothe communities, the touchy subject of identify - whether Kadazan or Dusun created confusion as to how to go about the matter.
• Finally in 1985 there was a break through with the crucial decisions being taken on the orthography and in in 1995, the standardisation of dialects materalised.
• With that, a close approach to a wider group identify was archieved.
• But it's a hard process as to educate Kadazan language in school which were also the dream of the Kadazan/Dusun must gone through the standardisation of various dialect of the Dusunic dialect.
• after the standardised process was done, a labelling matters occured wether to label as Dusun or Kadazan.
• In Sept 1990, various fruitless effort on forwarding the Kadazan Language in school. Then in 1994 when a Honourable Tan Sri Bernard G. Dompok, began seriously pursuing the matter.
• By that time, Kadazan Language was taught in private class, later on under the pressure by YB Tan Sri Bernard G. Dompok had manage to start a Kadazan Language class in April 1995.
• However, the labelling problem still occured. But eventually the Sabah Education Department played the mediator for the two cultural custodians - the Kadazan Dusun Cultural Association and the United Sabah Dusun Association - on deciding the name of the standard language that was taught in schools. And after some compromise, the term 'Kadazandusun' was chosen as the official name of the shared language.
• In 2000, the Kadazandusun language was being taught to 19731 children by 881 trained teachers., 440 primary schools in 21 districts throughout the State of Sabah.

Yeah some brief story of the Kadazandusun language...more details, After reading the whole article, i had in mind that the Kadazandusun Language may had gone through a big development in the . But from my experienced, I can see this language is still in danger. More and more of my Kadazan or Dusun friend can't speak this language... are those effort mentioned by the article above fail? or maybe the situation for 20 years ago were worst and now we are pursued to be proud because of this 'little' development.

Go back to the spirit of my entry, language had a big role in civilization because of it importance. Language show the identity of one culture. Ok see this, since Bahasa Malaysia had become the major language in Sabah, at the same time Sabah also going through the civilization process in the name of Malaysia. I wondering to like it or not. will harm the Sabahan tribes as it had done by language previously until now? Where are the Kadazan Dusun identity?

Source : http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/reference/kadazan

Kadazan

The meaning of the word 'Kadazan' in english means 'the people'.The Kadazan/Dusun is the largest ethnic group in Sabah. Sabah (with Sarawak) is part of the Federation of Malaysia.The ansector of the Kadazan/Dusun people are farmers.The word 'Kadazan' is used largely by the more educated Dusun people to describe themselves. It is used mostly in the Penampang and Papar area.

Language

The Kadazan/Dusun language is a dying language. All of the public school in Sabah does not teach the Kadazan/Dusun language. This is also due to the fault of the Kadazan/Dusun themselves who view their language as outdated and prefer to speak in the Malay language.There is significant different between the Malay language in Peninsular Malaysia and the Malay language use in Sabah.The Malay language used in Sabah are mostly influence by the Kadazan/Dusun language. Example "Celaka" in the official Malay language is "Silaka" in the Sabahan Malay language.

Make a deduction, the the new generation can't speak their mother tongue, what would happen to their race identity? Lost swallowed by other identity...ermmm. Yeah one more, Sabah now are called as one of the State in Malaysia. But according to the Malaysians History, it is a part Federation of Malaysia. I think She, Land below the wind should be more than just a state.

well, here's long pasted document from Wikipedia...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kadazan

Kadazans are the major subgroup in the ethnic group Kadazan-Dusun, who collectively, are the largest ethnicity indigenous to Sabah, Malaysia. They are found mainly on the west coast of Sabah, surrounding locales and various locations in the interior.

Being an indigenous people, the Kadazans are inferred the same political, educational and economic rights as the predominant Malay population of Malaysia. The term ascribed to this is Bumiputra, a Malay word, which is translated to 'Sons of the Land'.

While Kadazan was an official designation for this ethnic group, it is widely believed that the term itself was a political derivative that came into existence in the late 50's to early 60's. No proper historical record exists pertaining to the origins of the term or its originator. However an article written by Richard Tunggolou (available on the Kadazandusun Cultural Association website) on this matter may shed some light. According to Mr. Tunggolou, most of the explanations of the meanings and origins of the word ‘Kadazan’ assumed that the word was of recent origin––specifically in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s––as assumed in the explanations for its origin from ‘kakadazan’ (towns), ‘kedai’ (shops), and from the claim that Kadazan politicians such as the late Datuk Peter J. Mojuntin coined the term. In fact, the word ‘Kadazan’ is not of recent origin. Owen Rutter, in his book, “The Pagans Of North Borneo”, published in 1929, wrote: “The Dusun usually describes himself generically as a tulun tindal (landsman) or, on the West Coast, particularly at Papar, as a Kadazan.” (page 31). Owen Rutter worked in Sabah for five years as District Officer in all five residencies and left Sabah with the onset of the First World War. This means that he started working in Sabah from 1910 and left Sabah in 1914. We can therefore safely say that the word ‘Kadazan’ was already in existence before any towns or shops were built in the Penampang District and that Kadazan politicians did not invent the word in the late fifties and early sixties. Thus, the most likely explanation for the term ‘Kadazan’ is that it means ‘the people’.

Presently, the Kadazans are associated together with another similar indigenous tribe, the Dusuns and various other indigenous peoples, under the blanket term Kadazan-Dusun. This is officially recognised as the result of political machinations, specifically, a resolution of the supposedly non-political 5th KCA (Kadazan Cultural Association, which was then renamed to Kadazan-Dusun Cultural Association (KDCA)) Delegates Conference held between November 4 and November 5, 1989. It was decided as the best alternative approach to resolve the "Kadazan" or "Dusun" identity crisis that had crippled and impeded the growth and development of the Kadazan-dusun multi-ethnic community socio-culturally, economically and politically - ever since Kadazanism versus Dusunism sentiments were politicized in the early 1960's.

Kadazans and Dusuns share the same language and culture, albeit with differences in dialect. Many consider the major difference between the two ethnic groups to be their traditional geographical influences. Kadazans are mainly inhabitants of the flat valley deltas, conducive to paddy field farming, while Dusuns are traditionally inhabitants of the hilly and mountainous regions common to the interior of Sabah.

Religion and Culture
Before the influence of the British missionaries in the mid 19th century that resulted in Christianity rising to prominence amongst Kadazans, animism was the predominant religion. It revolved around the belief that spirits ruled over the planting and harvesting of rice, a profession that had been practiced for generations. Special rituals would be performed before and after each harvest by a tribal priestess known as a bobohizan.

Kadazan culture is heavily influenced by the farming of rice, culminating in various delicacies and alcoholic drinks prepared through differing home-brewed fermentation processes. Tapai and lihing are the main rice wine variants served and consumed in Kadazan populated areas, and are a staple of Kadazan social gatherings and ceremonies.

Besides food and drink, the Kadazans also developed their own unique dance and music. Sumazau is the name of the dance between a male and female, performed by couples as well as groups of couples, which is usually accompanied by a symphony of handcrafted bronze gongs that are individually called 'tagung'. A ceremonial ring of cloth sash is worn by both male and female. The Sumazau and gong accompaniment is typically performed during joyous ceremonies and occasions, the most common of which being wedding feasts.
Contemporary Kadazan food is heavily influenced by Chinese cuisine, with unique modifications and nuances as well as particular usage of locally available foodstuffs, particularly bamboo shoots, sago and fresh water fish, which is pickled. Water buffalo meat is a major staple food and the animals are highly prized assets, which are a typical requirement of wedding dowries.
Dowries are paid to the bride's family and an elaborate negotiation is arranged between the groom and bride's families. As a traditional gesture of politeness and civility, the dowry is metaphorically laid out with match sticks on a flat surface, with a representative from each side pushing and pulling the sticks across a boundary to denote the bargaining of the dowry. Dowries traditionally consisted of water buffaloes, pigs, sacks of rice and even urns of tapai. Modern dowry negotiations also include cash and land ownership deeds. Kadazan women from the Tambunan, Penampang and Tuaran areas are widely regarded to have the most expensive dowries.
While it is traditionally customary for Kadazans to marry within a village or a neighbouring village, a change of xenophobic attitudes over the past few decades has eased the difficulty once associated with inter-racial marriage. The Kadazans have a particularly good affinity with the local Chinese and this has resulted in the coinage of the term Sino-Kadazan, which is a phrase used to describe the half Kadazan, half Chinese offspring of such unions. Due to the overwhelming Christian influence, marriage to muslim spouses, which results in a mandatory conversion to Islam, still induces outrage and rejection, and is known to divide fiercely traditional Kadazans. Of late, Islam has been embraced by a growing minority as a means to political ends considering the fact that the local Malay minority has gained political ascendance in recent years.
[edit]

Language
It has been suggested that this section be split into a new article. (Discuss)
The Kadazan language is an amalgation of various influences, mainly coming from other indigenous tribes in North Borneo and the adoption of various Malay words. According to legend, the Kadazan language has its roots in the migration of a band of seafaring Chinese from Southern China. Anecdotes describe a provincial Chinese tribe whose language differs greatly with the common Chinese dialects but bears striking similarities to the Kadazan language; a tribe whom purportedly bear a physical resemblance to Kadazans as well. However, no research or concrete evidence has risen to support these claims although it is supported by authoritative figures in the Kadazan community.

As in many countries with a singly dominant language, the use of the Kadazan language has been on the decline for the last few decades. As a result, Malay is spoken fluently by most, if not all Kadazans, although English is spoken fluently by more Kadazans than any other ethnic group, due to the influence of British missionaries. With the decline of the usage of the Kadazan language, the Sabah state government introduced policies with the objective of preventing the extinction of the vernacular languages of many of its numerous small ethnic groups and has, in the past decade, encouraged public schools in Sabah to start teaching the Kadazan language, among other indigenous dialects. With this initiative, a concerted effort was also made to officialise the Kadazan language and standardise its written form.
Kadazan language belongs to Malayo-Polynesian languages branch of Austronesian language family.
[edit]

Language sample (prayer)
(1) Tama za doid surga apantang daa oh ngan nu koikot oh Perintah nu kaandak nu adadi doiti id Tanah miga doid Surga. Pataako dagai oh takanon za do tadau diti om pohiongo dagai oh douso za miaga dagai do popohiong di nakahasa doid dagai kada zikoi pohogoso doid ponginaman katapi pahapaso zikoi do mantad ngaaci do kalaatan. Amen. (2) Ave Maria, nopunu' do graasia, miampai diau o kinoingan, obitua ko do id saviavi' tondu, om obitua o tuva' tinan nu Jesus. Sangti Maria, tina' do kinoingan pokiinsianai zikoh tu' tuhun do mominiduso, baina om ontok jaam do kapatazon za. Amen.
[edit]

Translation
(1) Our father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever. Amen. (2) Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

It's been so long I never heard Our Father in KadazanDusun. Ok let me go straight to my little more point. Indeed the Kadazan/Dusun indigenous (Kadazan, Dusun, Murut, Sungai and Rungus) ethnic had a great memorable unique and beautiful cultures. But I think due to some irreversable, impreventable, the lack of civillized properties and certain circumtances , the Kadazan Dusun with it lack of historical story can't independantly reach the glory of peak of civilization. ermmm....there's more to write but it just too much....

TITAS...

17 Apr 2006, Monday...8:30am

So half an hour later I'll be sitting my TITAS paper...the exam hall is very near to the library, I stop awhile and had an update on my blog...

TITAS (Islamic and Asian Civilization 1) is a 2 credit hour subject which it's exam will be onjectively questioned. It's thought by Cik Akmaliza bt Abdullah, whom sometimes i argued with about Islam and Christianity (most of the time she start it first). I had my revision yesterday by reading the lecturer's note on the internet...

I had checked my carry Mark for TITAS...i had 50 mark out of 60...glad. whatever the result is, final is still the determinant to know the absolute result. ermmm....

Easter Season...

start with the ash wednesday...
Lent season as preparation...
we lived on the 40 days of fasting...
we rejoice with Palm on Sunday...
welcoming Him on a donkey...
then come the monte Thursday...
He washed the disciples feet...
Had The Last Supper with them...
One of them betrayed Him...
as it was written in the scriptures...
Him instead of Barabas cruxified...
we sinners had sent him for cruxifiction...
He died on Good Friday and was buried...
on the Third days, He rose again...
Alleluia!, glory to the Son of God...
a good news, our faith renew...
Happy Easter day,Jesus had risen...
Happy are those who believes...
as you have eternal live...
as the good news proclaimed...
and with love which conquer deaths.

Study week...

15 April 2006 2:22 p.m.
Virginionia's Condition: Dying (Power supply problem! another one! It's a reminder for me to do revision not playing games.)

so my exam started on 17 Apr 2006

17 Apr TITAS

19 Apr Applied Mechanics

20 Apr Fluid Mechanics

25 Apr Diffrential Equations.

So my plan is to keep on study and do a lot of practices. later after Fluid Mechanics 20th I'll go back to my Aunt House with my stuff by cab and study Differential Equations there. ermm Aunty Kath is going back on the 26th, It's better for me to go back early. Then on the 24th or 25th I'll go back to UTM to finish up my last paper...

before study week...

Now, Study week had started...I hope I can do my last minute revision with my friends and also alone. But at this moment, I am at my Aunt's room (Aunty Jay). We, at johore had visitors...Aunty Kath and uncle Alex(Aunty Flocy's boyfriend) and also surprisingly Ideline (Idel is my cousin, previously she became singer as a career in a hotel).

Actually I reached here since Thursday (6 Apr) because they'll arrive on (7 Apr midnight), I wanted to lend a hand in the house cleaning work...But I have to go back to Taman U for GIFT planning camp on Saturday which start on Friday...(GIFT is a UTM Roman Catholic student group, I had become one of the Exco-Faith Department under the president...) Meaning, I had the 'visitors' as a reason not to come on Friday. But after considering time and Barbecue in Taman Molek which they'll have it on Saturday night, I switched my plan to come on Friday until Saturday afternoon and skip the Saturday till Sunday session...

So I have a great fun in SCC with the GIFT exco's...then wearily exhousted walking under the grizzling rain to get bus going to Taman Molek on Saturday afternoon.

When I reached there, I saw Uncle Alex and Aunty Flocy playing badminton, Louis and Lora having fun with the neighbour, Uncle Law and Aunty also here, Aunty Jay was in the room, Janet together with Jill was here and also Idel and we start our first word with 'aik', Aunty Kath frying the chicken ermmm Barbecue was cancelled due to the wet barbecue set according to Louis... So they had KFC (Kath's Fried Chicken), some roasted chicken, some salad and also hot chillie for dinner, I didn't eat meat due to self control for Lent Season...So I fried some Egg and eat with Salad what a 'Fault' combination. Oh yeah, My mum enclosed one parcel to Aunty Kath. It was a some traditional snacks also Catholic Sabah and PTPTN document. I got it and eat it some...

yeah...then later on they opened table...open table to play Jin Rum Mee...more people coming. Aunty Angie and Uncle Neal, Ian, Steven, Aunty Ann and Uncle Calextus and Also the Five C's- Courtney (CC), Cassy, Cindy, Chelsea and Camelia ermm not to forget the hamster Camelia bought, Joe and Joel, Uncle Clay...yeah all of Sabahans in Johore gathered together... So what happened...

@ I can hardly find a seat but only upstair to rest.

@ The house was full.

@ Two table opened-another for Lap Lap Foo...

@ Lance and Louis had more chance to play Dota...

@ They had beer while gambling and chatting and maybe bullying...

@ Lots of stupid Joke from the brilliant Uncle Nel...

@ Uncle Calextus force me to drink-I decline' by accepting' then didn't drink-it's Lent Season!...

@ Don't know why the roasted chicken wasn't finished...

@ The children had fun outside...

@ It was a joyful gathering ever in Johore...ermmmmm

everything ended earlier then I thought(3.00 am) because Aunty Flocy wanted to sleep...some going back, some still stay but going out to eat heavy supper and some sleep like me...I was very tired lorrrr !

My Computer (Eventually, Not end yet!)

eventually
(problem never end....)

tuuuuuuuuuuuttt.....tuuuuuuuuuuuttt....tuuuuuuuuutttt

I think this was one of test given to me by God during Lent Seasons. Virginio and Virginia lost their memory again......The irritating noise made by the computer shows that the new DDRAM got problem again. Lost control and temper, I curse out loud..............!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried using brendan cable but still nothing happened. Switching off the computer, I fall off my self on my bed, full of frustration and sadly wondering......

Why do I have to end up like this ....Lord Jesus Christ, gives me the strength to stay faithful to you.

My Computer IV

It was Sunday night, anticipating to used my own already fixed computer to do my assignment.

In may room, my roommate wasn't there. Dark cold night. As I excitedly plugging everything required to my computer....then i realized. A big problem rise up.

I lost my power cable and also my monitor cable...confuse, sad angry and dissapointed, I tried to search everywhere in my area of the room but found nothing. No they weren't in my room. So I sat down and hear some music, relax and try to reflect where did i put them.

from the jogging - simon, rhoda - saturday 25th Feb, -century-claim it back - then Aunty flocy house taman molek, Kenny Johore jaya then UTM.....then I remembered that when Simon brought me back to my college from taman U, I forgot my cables in his friend's car. oH man...what a mistake, I borrowed Brendan's phone who was already came back to text Simon and ask from him. I did it as friendly as i could and get reply after very long time. He'll try find it and send it to me. I am glad but still unsatisfied for my recklessness.

to shorten everything. Simon never come. I tried to contacted him again, his reply never made a good result....he was asking me what type of cable is it....I answer him...and nothing happened!!! hmmm. Ok forget about it...

so again I had to do my assignment using friends PC. I could sense Dee were such openly let me using his precious powerful Pentium M laptop anymore, so I had to use the others....there's no way I was going to use Brendan or Eric PC....I just don't feel want to. most of the time I used the library assignment section of computer, sometimes used my group member Wai Choy (Asus computer) to do it....had one time urgently i need to finished my work, I used Zool's (a friend from Sarawak, computer freak, stay one level above my block)computer. but that time, there's no electricity in that level...stupidly and surprisingly at my level there was electricity.!? So I borrowed his Cables and for the first time after so long....Virginianio opened his and her eyes again in UTM. To my disappointment, I didn't have Microsoft Powerpoint in my computer. Huh...I had faced so much trouble with my computer right? So, with frustrated action I shut it down and pull out the cable and come back to Zool...Well Zool , he always had alternatives , smart but not very reliable....he got the Microsoft Powerpoint driver. But I declined to his offered and it may need long time to finish installing the program...again he come out with his idea, we got out of the room and tried to fixed the electricity switch problem. Yes, thank God, with less then 30 minutes I still have time to finished my work before going to class.

confession - not the religious confession. Last time I laugh alone at Eric who got problem with his newly bought computer. Now, Sadly, I faced even worse problem then him. I hated when he went to my room and asked my computer's condition and give a teasing smile when hearing the same answer....huh!!!!

Solution - i got to buy new Cables....I still remembered last time, when I first bought this computer the monitor cable was left out and I called Dee to buy one for me as he was still at Taman U. He bought for RM12....for only monitor cable...whoahhh. But despite a unreasonable price, desperation force me to spend something for my carelessness. So last friday, (31 March 2006) I had GIFT meeting, I had nominated myself as a Gift New Exco for some post, but because of some conspiration, I got the Faith Department position...That was another story.) after the meeting, I went to buy the cables at a computer shops....again Century although there's more other computer shops but I quite familiar with Century already. In my expectation I would have spend more thatn RM20 for the cables, I planned to bargained hardly until RM 15, but surprising like both cable only costed my RM13....whoaaaaah, without compromising the price because 'shockessness', I paid...Then I went to Taman U Jusco to shop something and to find my friends. I couldn't find them, lonely I walk to the taxi station and took one went back to college. Ok, at least I had the cables with me....

To be continue....

.

My Computer III

This is my another unsatisfying about my computer version of story.

So saturday's come....woke up very late as usual. I go down but everyone still asleep. Aunty Jay slept on the sofa. I went to their room with the two boys dying after war in the Dota sleeping. I surf the net and had a few games before everyone woke up.

It was almost 1 pm...Aunty Flocy asked me to take out the other portion of wet bread. She asked me to buy oil. a good time for me to settle the memory of virginia, I called Kenny (The computer Technician) to confirm him that i'll come to claim my warranty DDRAM, He suggested to come but I decline because he didn't know that I already move to Taman Molek. I asked Louis to follow me but he show an unpleasant reply who was actually waitting for his turn while Lance is continuing murdering. OK, Then I walk alone from Taman Molek to XP(cyber cafe)-Johore Jaya...

It was a hot day and I haven't got my break fast...I wonder how dedicate is Lance to walk such far to school twice during weekdays. Last time...I always remind him to think if he already walk that hard to reach school and went home in such difficulty without any knowledge in his head...it is a very wasteful...that's really shut him up.

to sort up everything. I changed the RAM (Kenny gave me another new RAM)and bought the most medium and cheap cooking oil before I took a taxi back to Taman Molek....RM7 for taxi....

so that evening we had doughnut for brunch. yeah Brunch...Aunty Flocy and Aunty Jay were enjoying watching a Korean Drama "path to heaven". ermmm so boring....

later one we had badminton match with the neighbour which I didn't join just watching. The neighbour were really newbies in sport lorrr. Who's the neighbour? Two cute babes age around 11-12 years old-carmen and Carry (Ke Min and Ke Yi)...and their brother maybe 15 years old (Jackie or Ah Hao). their mum allowed them to go to Aunty Flocy's house compound to play. Lora was the most excited among us. maybe louis and Lance too....hahahah.

At night, Aunty Vianey went to butterflying and sent by Uncle Law with lora, everyone's still watching TV.

yeah...Aunty Jay wanna to go out eat the indian food. but everyone couldn't find the key.so we just wait for Uncle Law to come back and bring us (me, Lance and Aunty Jay - Aunty Flocy didn't wanna join and Louis was asleep-forgeting and tired of waiting his turn). Because of ATM problem, Aunty Jay borrowed my money. I order for chicken Nasi lemak, same goes to lance and aunty vianey. Uncle law asked for Roti Canai. drink variety of cold and hot drinks. Then I remember I should eat meat, so, I gave it to Aunty Vianey. during eating. Aunty Jay and Aunty Vianey chatted a lot about their works. Hate to hear it, I began to change the topic with Uncle Law about something stupid bussiness. Lance in the middle can respond but just hear. I knew that Uncle Law also wouldn't like to hear what the Aunties would talk about, that's why I talk to him...but I can sense that Aunty Jay felt distracted. hmmmm.......

then we went back, I tried my computer using Uncle Law's Monitor and cable in his room (I got the permission ok!) . After plug-in the new RAM. toot....Virginionia alive.

Nothing to burst out after facing a lot trouble.

I tried to connect to the internet but couldn't. Unplugging everything and put my CPU out from the room. Happily at least my computer alive.

nothing much happened after that....the next morning, luckily I won't missed the church I woke up and had my bath and woke Lance up. We took Masai bus as instructed by Aunty Ann before. we reached at there St Theresa when it's already 2nd reading. St Theresa, a small church much remind me about Good Sheperd of Menggatal. But she have another building with 4 rooms for RCIA purposes. each room named with Mark, Luke and Matthew. Lance said he felt like superstar as the people gazing at us. hmmm, after mass, I bought a Today's Catholic newspaper and met some of the church people to ask some information. Gladly everything's done easily. then we had breakfast at Masai Marrybrown. Lance told about his strange dream...hahah very funny but I felt pity to those he dream of. I told him a similar dream I had before but he totally uninterested to say anything. Then we took JB bus to go back.

as we reached, everyone's still asleep. Aunty Jay was first to wake up and asked Lance to uninstall the Dota - War Craft Frozen Throne then she sit out side. Lance did nothing. then Louis come out from the room just finished killing somebodies and told Lance that their Dad,Uncle Desmond asked them to go to non-stop. Again, Lance wihout any action just sitting there calmly. ermmmmm...very nice plan Louis. hahhahah.

Aunty Jay wanted to go out to Giant to buys something for the house. so the 4 of us went to Giant by taxi. We had KFC as brunch, if I know i won't eat Mary brown. Louis and Lance had their hair cut.... Dudes tomorrow got to go to school lorrrr. Shopping in Giant supermarket. Lance got his most important that is the WAX....Aunty Jay bought some sport equipment like badminton net and others and also sport attires for her....The dudes got their new three quarter jeans. Louis didn't get his new school shoes-out of stocks. Then some food. I get my money back and went home by taxi.

At the house, Aunty Jay asked to put on the Badminton Net. and we had some games together with the newbies neigbours. Aunty Jay said I was her real challenge, Aunty Flocy join to play against me, lance seem interested to oppose me....Hey come on, I won't play seriously on a muddy ground court. hahahhahaha.

eat only banana cake, I get prepared to get back to UTM. Wash myself and asked Uncle Law to send me. Oh yeah, the car that uncle Law drive was Uncle Clay Car. Brought down the healthy Virginionia in the car. I asked Louis to clean upstair as a promise, again he gave an unpleasant look to me but he nodded as agreeing.

So I follow Uncle Law and Aunty Vianey together with Lora. Uncle Law need to send Aunty Vianey to her work place. It was almost 9.30 when we reach that place...I can't figure out what Uncle Law felt that moment as Aunty Vianey walked out from the car to and went into the big colourfully with neon building. The baby innocent but sadly asked her father: "Daddy, where's mum going?" while watching her mum slowly disappeared form her view. Then the daddy emotionlessly answered with a baby slang:"mummy go to work" and continue driving.

the dramatic journey had end now the destination is UTM. It was a long journey because both of us don't know the exact route. I am still a direction blind. So the sign board is a big help for us. I still spare some time playing teasing with Lora, the innocent growing up girl.

So UTM, I am back. I put out my stuff and thanked uncle Law for the ride. the night fill me with happiness knowing that I had my computer 'healed'.

As I plug in everything to my computer...then I realized that....!!!

To be continued....

My Computer II

the friday's day goes like nothing just even more resting time, I haven't settle anything for my computer. As for dinner we had a traditional meal - Sago with fish Asam Jawa stew. That night, me, Aunty Flocy and Aunty Jay watch American Idol 5...though I already know the result. Lance and Louise busy with Dota...the other family was in their room. I sat lazily on the single sofa which then Aunty Flocy said when are we suppose to make the doughnut. I insisted for Saturday night...I don't know why? I just felt the saturday was the a good day as preparation to rest on Sunday. But since tonight, there's a good show. We decided to make it now...first thing was to buy planta (a cheap well known butter) and some sugar. Who's going to buy it? me and Louis. Where? nearby 7-eleven shop. urgggh I missed the pityful singer who'll be eliminated. as we came back, the flour is ready.

So as usually two large plastic bowls were placed on the table, two pack of flour divided into the two bowl equally and some flour was left for later. Aunty flocy with her magic hand pour the 'mother's bread' (yeast) into the flour. I don't know since when the butter is mixed with the flour....add up some sugar and salt and also some expert needed extimation of water poured to combined everything....I think so...the it's the work for the youngster... to beat the mixture for 20-15 minutes...me and Louis doing it. lance happily Dota-ing. well If I were him, my mind would be "gotta finished soon, I have to help them..." hahaha but I know Lance ways of thought, most probably he'll thought"hahaha, what a good excuses, I don't need to do the silly job."

But sooner or later he come and help as that was the time for Louis to continue the next game. beating until we done... the soft ball shaped mixture is left to be expand itself in the bowl with plastic paper closing it. Let the yeast to breath from inside of the uncook bread. yeah I remeber when it is about 10:45pm...Aunty Flocy asked me give a punch on the fully expanding wet flour. It broke in the middle where an exactly grip size of hole produce. And another beating session continue but this time slightly. By this time the show already finished and will be continued to the result show after half hour but Aunty Flocy wanna watch another programme.

so the doughnut shaping session...ugh very hard to describe. I really want to make a perfect ring of doughnut but never did it. I always made the stupid looks of doughtnut...broke one on side...less flour in some side...big unbalanced bracelet. the other portion of the uncook bread was carefully packed in a plastic bag and stored in the fridge....over all with one bowl it is about 35 home made uncook doughnut on the table with. The excess flour was used to prevent the fragile doughnut from sticking to the plastic paper.

the frying session...Aunty Flocy demonstrated how to cooke them. I could see it is important to make sure the middld hole is always big or else it'll getting smaller. next the to ensure that the correct time of cooking...we don't want to eat some over cook supper...

Few doughnut fail to reach the satisfying condition...still not cook yet... but despite so, my hungry stomach make me swallow after biting them. Indeed it need a lot of oil for this process...some of the awaiting doughnut were put in Aunty Flocy 's Microwave Oven...as I began to get expert in it... I asked Lance to continue. Some good people had boil water....Ahhh doughnut with coffee with good tv programme also not to forget with the nice relatives - most relaxing weekend i have...

As a result... I can see the if you use a microwave, you'll get a bread like doughnut...and if you fry it it'll be just exactly a doughnut. Sugar apply if needed. Lora didn't seem to like doughnut. Aunty Jay didn't eat any...ermm...the supper end up with everyone's in their room.

The Satursay comes...Need some rest...be right back. Toilet....but If I left this computer, someone might took it....emergency. it's very cold here!

My computer

this is the story of a computer...

I'd forgot the actual date when I was jogging alone in Balai Cerapan, UTM and I met Rhoda and Simon. I know Rhoda (a Remote Sensing girl) during after the praise and worship in SCC very last time and Simon(his course Architech) was my seniors since in secondary school. We had a quite long boring chat...I know they are the strong people in CG, Cell Group which I hate so much to attend after only once. If they tried to invite me to go for any CG, I would rather declined even if I need to lie.

The good thing happen when Simon offered to help me regarding to my computer. He was willing to bring me to Century, one of the Computer technician shop in Taman U on that weekend.I was to glad for that because I really need my computer for Engineering Drawing assignment. Then before the night come (Late evening) I was brought to my collegue with Simon's friend's car. Rhoda asked me to give Brendan (my roomates) his coat which was posted by his parents.(Rhoda and Brendan is long lost neighbour). Brendan really need such formal cloth for some annual dinner which not related to a low grade student like me.

Saturday came, at 11 am. Simon came and I brought my CPU , power cable and monitor cable (just in case!). Surprisingly, Rhoda was there in the car too (This is not a suspend story ok....it's only a matter of my computer). Well the more ,the merrier. We went to have our lunch at one of the Chinese Restaurant. I ate a lot but I had mistakenly took the Cha Sau look alike flour made food (this was not the lent season yet).

Then we went to Century, a very small shop with a lot of computer stuff put everywhere but there's a lot of customer too...It was very simple, the malay girl sign a resit for me and asked me to call them back after 3 days. My computer (only CPU) was left there with a recorded paper adhered on it Bye Virginio.

Instead of going back, Simon wanted to go to Nike Factory shop to have a look for a good price of a sport shoes. But we went to Adidas first...indeed the price there are lot more cheaper then in Sabah. Almost 70% cheaper. Same goes to the Nike Products. They are original and had been localized (Malaysia,Thailand, Indonesia, Phillipines, Vietnam made!) but the quality might be vary....bad I guess. Simon didn't buy anything. So we went to Taman U's Jusco. He looked for Bata - (a famous Czech republican's product of shoes but being localized in Malaysia) sport shoes but he couldn't maked his mind. So we have our short shopping a Jusco. I bought gel for my hair lorrr....some McVities biscuits and more. Rhoda had a big shopping with the trolley full with things that almost her's. Simon finally bought the Bata Shoe....ermmm Yeah near the Bata Shoe, I saw a noisy machine that can measure people's weight and height, health and also luck with only 50 cents. it's kind of funny as I saw some people just forgot to get the result from the machine after the measurement taken.

Next we went to Taman Tun Aminah because they wanted to meet some of their friend, but their friend didn't reply the called. So, we turned back and a an afternoon Cendol break. It was indeed a great cendol...Rhoda sponsored some kuih pisang, friend mushroom and popiah. The stall is owned by a chinese muslim converted woman. she wore Tudung and I could see her sons and daughter was helping here in this small potential business.

After that, Simon sended me back to my collegue. I was so tired but I have to get ready for church....

after several days (five instead of three days), I contacted the technician and inquired my computer's matter. He said my RAM had problem and need to change...I afraid so much because the price was very expensive. But he continued to say that not to worry because I have the warranty. well my warranty was in Taman Molek...huh!

after some weeks I claimed it from Century and went back to Aunty Flocy house...since I already promised not to take any taxi, i carried along my CPU in two way busses. people eyes couldn't be stopped. I know.

I reached there almost a 5pm Thursday... not much changes. Lance and Louis was having their 1st mid term break for a week. Aunty flocy no more working. The memoir of Geisha's story in the reality world occured among the women in the house. Uncle Law remained the same and Lora seem really not well taken care. I say hi to Aunty Jay hwo seem tiredly and so relax sitting on the single sofa. One of the sofa upstair had been move to downstair... at least i still have another to sleep on. Lance and Louise were very busy to fill their holiday with Dota as they aren't allowed to play during school days. Lora seem to forget my name...haha poor baby. so the evening start with a little shop at QQ market where me, Aunty flocy, Lora and Louis went to buy some food. I remind them I would not eat meat as my way to respect the Lent season.

The next day was a lazy Friday....the libray will close soon, I need to publish now.... to be continued....hahaha

After so long...

Here I am again with a very Good news in this Lent season...

well, one of the most importand days in Roman Catholic is the Easter. the day when our Lord rose from the dead. Lent is a Forty day Fasting of preparation for Easter. Lent begins on wednesday, called Ash wednesday.

we'll fast for 40 days as well as Jesus, Son of God fasted and was tempted in the wilderness for 40 days. Lent is our time to fast, do prayers, tempted and repent. Actually there's no words in the scriptures needed us to fast but fasting has been a custom for Christians to practices for most of the last 2000 years.

Lent = fast. But there's confusion whereby, we are not suppose to fast of Sunday. Sunday are the days of celebrations. So Lent is going on for 46 days beginning of Ash Wednesday.

The focus of Lent was always threefold:
1) it was a time to prepare new converts for baptism through intensice classes and instruciton.
2) It was a time for long-standing Christians to reviews their lives and renew their commitment to Jesus Christ.
3)It was a time for backsliders to be restored to the faith.

For a Christian, these are some question that need to be consider during Fasting season.

Am I sharing gladly what I have with others, especially the stranger and the poor?

Do I have a gracious and patient attitude with others, especially those who irritate me?

Do I feel the power of connection to God and the church in corporate worship?

How is my devotional and prayer life progressing? Am I listening to God more and complaining
less? Is it time for a change or a growth in my Bible study and prayer life?

What are the lurking sin problems, which still plague me?

Am I as thoughtful and forgiving of family as others, or do I take my frustrations out on them?

Do I speak up for the maligned and oppressed, or do I remain silent in order to remain popular?

tha's a bit about lent season...
I wish I could do this....

Don't ever says to God ;"d, I have a big problem. "
Try this: "Hey problem! I have a God."
We had a great big wonderful God.
Powerful and mighty with love.

Just leave it as a friendster message.

Ok from now one I won't be posting any pasted letters from friendster. I'll just let it be a Friendster message alone.

Reply to Brian

as i remember the promise comes along as i forget it!?


Message:

Im glad to hear from you guys;
So everyone's ok right there;
good and thanks for you nice reply;
redesign strategy, already;
Do a lot excercise, I will;
Read Short note, good Idea;
long-detailed note waste time, true;

talking about new strategy;
I tried to mix around;
mix with the chinese;
especially chinese;
because I can see;
I can sense and feel;
Majority chinese succeed;

I'm glad I could speak mandarin;
kind of strange with them;
I had a lot of fun during weekends;
see!!! last week I had karaoke;
this week I have Barbecue;
i am afraid to waste so much time;

But I bear in mind;
I always remind myself;
that I'll always study with them.
I could see the light side;
the good and positive side;
I keep it up on and on;
never stop but rise up gradually;

Haha, you are boring aaaa;
well I am doing this;
they called it "widen the circle";
means to meet more new people;
more interaction and communication;
huh kinda hard for me;

My number is still available;
sometimes i'll open it;
switch it on with friend's phone;
I tried to message teck;
text teck, my friend but failed;
Is there anything wrong?

Girls, new girlfriend, shit!;
what? you're in progress!?;
good attempt, but be passion!;
I have nothing to say about it;
because I'm bad in it;
good luck, I am glad to hear it;

your trial exam in over!!!?;
best luck and enjoy the break;
You wanna come?;
you really wanna come?;
are you sure about if?;
I am so glad to hear that!;

Just come, If you wanna come;
I can arrange everything;
I have my aunty, my friends;
me myself would arrange it;
so when are you coming?;
looking forward for it;

ok larr till then! byebye.

reply from Brian

Brian Chia wrote:
> dun worry lah , its normal one, you need to
> redesign your strategy i guess, maybe the wayyou
> study not so efficient, try to read short notes
> cos long and detailed notes waste time, andplease
> do a lot exercise cos its the only way to score,
> read only no use, do excersice. about us here,
> fine lah, teck is happy staying here with his
> girlfriend, kenny is happy with his colege
> although score not so good, me here very boring,
> feels like want to find new girlfriend. got target
> but she never give me any damm, so nothinghappen
> loh.haiiiiiiiii, very busy now cos got trial exam,
> looking forward 4 this march holiday, if i
> financially good , can i visit you there, got
> place to stay or not???? u cant come i can go.....

Hey! Help! They...

There's light shinning;
reflecting on everyone's face;
although live a simple life;
life's under one roof.

A child would broke the silent;
Two half-maid help a lot;
one 'tree' generates necessity;
But technology are entertainment.

If they syntax could go in;
If the entertainment is synthesis;
if received and send in one key;
It's more useful than food.

Respondsibilities had been ignored;
Mutual feelings had deterioted;
Too much depend on the 'tree';
A mix problem caused by the line.

One say "I got problem";
One say "I got problem";
One say "I got problem";
everyone got problem.

What problem, may I help;
Yes, but how could it happened;
Oh I see, the stream of entertainment;
Causing a mix problems.

Life is too easy;
I can starat anytime;
I'll know when it's come;
Just relax and wait.

Argh! Life here's too hard;
there's now life here;
I've got to restart;
return and restart.

I'll just wait and wait;
no, you cannot go;
Just stay with me;
We'll just wait and relax.

Esay in the controversial ways;
restart without considerations;
wait until the rain of gold;
problem comes by attitude.

so let me stop the factor;
Factor of entertainment;
Huh! everyone had woke up!;
is life going to change.

Desperate now is the defination;
no more dreaming in the stream;
That's could be a cruel move;
But it's effectives.

Priority shown up in the middle;
but they want easy way;
now one stop, one go and one still;
that isn't good at all.

Thre's nothing to do;
the 'servants' and child could do nothing;
lives indeed changed but no different;
Why not just wait and see.

written on 27 Feb 2006 - posted on 0.10am 8 Mar 2006. hmmmm....

The Pretender!

There's only three of them;
three good-looking guys;
too friendly and playful;
but there's one pretender.

Among the three guys;
only one very old;
only one very young;
but who is the pretender.

if one says it so;
one of the two will agree;
but maybe one more don't;
So, who could be the pretender.

The two would sleep together;
but another one can't;
As time past, they were in one bed;
could time find the pretender.

while playing one play happily;
another plays skillfully;
the last one played shamefully;
They are playing with a pretender.

two of them would share;
but one would never;
one of the two never ignore it;
could he be the pretender?

One would talk something;
another one would talk too;
But another one won't share;
which one is the pretender.

They talk what guy's talk;
They play like any guys;
They live like any other guys;
But there's one pretender.

the Pretender admit to one of them;
but nothing help the pretender;
Then, he tells the other one;
Now they know who's the pretender.

Now the life had changed;
As the truth revealed;
Life not like before;
Unlike the before the confession.

the pretender 7 Mar 2006 23:53 pm. written on 27 Feb 2006. No Comment.

It's a mistake

I just realized
of all the past , i passed
of all hatred I put
It was a mistake.

I'm confuse now
I stayed away or rather hide
I ran without looking back
and it's a mistake.

I can see now
the truth of peanut's shell
I never thought of it
It's true mistake

I am a mistake make
For I never think more
I hope they wxplain earlier
It's still my mistake.

I shoul never do it
But i did and regret
After when it's irreversable
I'm wron, my mistake

23.41 pm 7 Mar 2006....Huh....Written on 27 Feb 2006

letters - messages to Brian Chia - Friendster messaging

Hey how do you do?
How's your study...
I'm sorry for the inconvinient...
you guys can't contact me right?
I had sold off my phone to my cousins.
RM50 for 3315i not bad huh..
I was planning to buy new one.
but later, I can't find any ideal phone.
Ideal means nice, intergrated and cheap.
Hhehe...quite choosy, that's why.

Hey nice picture you have...Love it..
Seem happy and didn't change.
You are still steady and cool
keep it up dude...ermm...
talking about myself.
Dear friend, I am getting worse
but still ok and fine.
I can see that study is not in me
not inline with my soul.
not suitable with my condition.
not my time like the past.
I just don't know and I think so.

Hey, please pray for me.
I don't think i could make this
my family couldn't help
I can't study here. Really!
I need to become a Kia Su
A dislikable Kia Su.
act like that towards friends.
I really need full time study.
restart everythings back.
see, this course isn't tough.
not tough at all but I can't
I don't know why.

let me tell you my condition.
see, I got pointer as much as 3
3 for the first semester.
3 for a start, a bad start.
3 is not bad for bad students.
I am not bad student.
but it seem i will be one
3 synonym to water surface.
that's already past.
now everything's wrong for me.
eat, play and study.
that's normal and good.
enough said my deans.
but i was wrong.

my previous tests.
I had been the lowest.
lowest isn't studipest
i know that.
maybe lowest is laziest.
no that's wrong.
maybe strategies got problem.
I studied like normal.
I had been less wasting time.
but there's a but.
what I read gone
like the passing wind.
or passing tsunami.

foolish me why could that be.
it's gone from the test room.
gone away with time.
as time passed by.
I couldn't answer much.
I was afraid so much.
this shouldn't be.
shall or not, time goes by
and I be the lowest.
most embarassing.
Can you advice me?
how to prevent this.

foremost, I need attention..
not from anyone
but from you guys...
Just from you guys
thanks for the recent message.
just message me.
just text me online.
i'll feet your warm kind heart.
when to visit you?
ermmm don't know.
dude. you are so much free?
I am very not....Free.

well maybe after the semester.
which ended at the end of April.
well see you that time.
I hope to bring good news.
please let me be.
like one of you.
smart always plus cool.
I swear I'll work ten times.
ok i need to change the regulation.
if and only if I got good news.
news about my study
news about final exam.
I'll go to your place.
is that alright?

i had wrote too much craps.
I need to stop.
need to study-(I hope so)
but I must study.
seeing you smilling face.
makes you my role model.
hahah i seldom said this.
but i really have to this time.
gotta go.
bye

oh ya... I'll write to you again next week-promise you and also every weeks just to make sure my life is getting better. tell me what's going down to you guys there...hmmm

Fluid oh Fluid!

i am so sorry fluid;
i did it to you;
Though i already promise;
promise to Moment;
promise to Land;
which I mean it;
which for all of you;
But i broke it;
and sadly to you;
my fluid oh fluid.

i had been tested;
it is very hard;
i can't help you fluid;
i can't at that moment;
and it's my fault;
i didn't get ready;
i overslept that night;
ignore you in loneliness;
Day comes but it's too late;
i'd tried but failed.

i never learn from it;
it's been so long;
i thought you're excluded;
Now, you are in a risk;
i must save you;
i won't promise;
No promise this time.
i'll swear to all of you;
with God helps and wills;
i'll save 'you all'.

specially to my fluid whom i felt guilty and sorry. Last day of February 2006-1.44pm. This happened to me and my fluid.....

I wanted to write more ...

I had a lot in my thought which is the things that I should've and really wanted to write in my blog. I don't want them to just passed by without noting them. but i don't have time... uhhhh... yet I already bring Virginionia t Century Computer Service. Ok maybe I should write it in the old way in my planners book (a new one) then later transfer them to the internet. ermmm... see if and only if I get any time that can allowed me to write.


6.02pm 27 Feb 2006 (argh...need to go jogging with Dee.)

very busy

I had been very busy until I can't even update my blog. So here's what happen in front of my eyes.

@I'd learned to make simple Pizza. It's indeed a very expensive food. Spaghetti is quite simpler lorrr.

@the one and only one who failed the applied mechanics test....35% HUAAAA. The lecturer displayed the whole class mark in a minute with a projector together with the IC's no. Damn, got one most disgusting boy really wanted to know who was the failer. He was asking who was that while he was just sitting right behind of me. He, even asked a copy of that result from the lecturer but of course he won't have it. Stupid.....me- shame on me....nahhh I promise this won't happen again.

@Virginionia still in coma. Hmmmm

@Stupid Civil Engineering Drawing course had made me gone crazy for another tonnes of works after another, I would be an architech if i manage to handle it.

@Next Thursday (2 March) is my mum Birthday together with Chelsea Amanda my cousin.

@had a new hair cut by Dee Aguindrew... Haha it's funny to get a birds nest hair. I'd let him to experimented and experienced on my hair. so that he'll get better next time. it's not bad but funny. So I put on my ear-ring to distract people from commenting my hair....It's work...hahaha

@I just applied my students Grads Card and already get my new matrix BSN card....after so long....

@I planned to get laptop and a 3G phone huh....by loan and hope to get that permission from my parents. See the loan is about RM5000 for 5 years and I'll get the both stuff in about 5 weeks.

ermm.... study....

the priority

in front of me is a jar...
reflecting transparent jar...
I have enough sand, water and stone...
want to fill all into jar...

I would never do it ...
if I start with water...
then sand, stone wouldn't fit....
or stone, sand would hard to get in...
nor if I begin with sand...
water could flow freely
but stone definitely won't go in...


stone should I put first...
the heaviest and biggest...
then sand slowly pour...
move into the porous stone...
then water anytime ....
I have to learn to think
before I move...


3.00pm 19 Feb 2006 the proverb given by Dr. Ong...which I never applied to my university's life....

as I predicted....!

it's was a hectic schedule on this Wednesday whereby I had class at 11 a.m. (I woke up very late due to the unfinished Auto Cad assignment) then swimming lesson at 2.00 p.m. But that night i'll be having Applied Mechanic test at 8pm.... I only had time from 5 pm to revise...In my thought I won't be needing to revise so much because I'd already had the basic and i'd been so hardworking doing the subject's tutorial question....

well...It's going to happen again as predicted regarding to my previous semester condition where I couldn't answer most of the question...i was totally forgot how to find the Resultant of two forces in 3D. I know now that i will only get below 50 % for the test.

Virginionia seem to awake but still very sick...thank god.

I cancelled my plan to go back to Aunty Flocy's house because Malaysians won't be having public holiday this coming monday. Yet, i haven't finished my auto Cad assignment and revision.

1.52 pm 8 Feb 2006

Virginio and Virginia death...!!

well, I don't know what happen...I went to my aunt's house for the semester break (27 Jan to 6 Feb) to celebrate Chinese New Year and to spend my free time there... a lot of things happened which uncovered the other side of me (Can't write here).

So I went back at the a last hour before my class begin, tending to be dedicated upon my study I didn't switch Virginionia until when I really need him to continue my Auto Cad assignments. When Time had come, it was 9.30pm where i found virginio and my virginia dead....

I don't know what happen...I was worry that my work which due date will on the next Tuesday, I can't play games, listening to music and play My Computer anymore....Virginio wake up....please Virginia don't mad at me because I left you alone for a week.

ok....Virginia and Virginio were over...I can't just keep worrying about them... I have to do my assignment in alternative way...but how....ermmm then who...yess Dee, tonight I'm going to borrow his LapTop to finish one of my burden. but it is even worse that I have to redo all the work. wahhhh

Test... another test for Applied Mechanics, I haven't prepared well althought I know I could do it through my common sense. But I have to be familiarized with some terminology...oh ya tommorow also have swimming class... but tonight I'm going to finish Civil Engineering Drawing, then read applied. won't be having much time to rest nor sleep.

ermmm I want to make sure all things are done before I....well I am going back to my Aunt's House again to celebrate Chap Goh Mei....it's not about the party but I feel much more comfortable in my aunt house rather than staying at my University campus.

Oh ya... A friend of mine who also blogging had sended me a story....an I already read it but not the last two chapters....so funny, she used my name as the boy whom the protagonist had a crush on him. it's a nice story...I bet if I could have a studio, like Hayao Miyazaki with his Studio Ghibli, I'll sign a contract with my friend to make Anime. hahaha-dreaming. The story really remind me the anime entitled "whisper of the heart". unfortunately i haven't read the full story....why? my Virginianio is dead. hahaha...

till then

it's going to happen again!

Huh....too bad I had a very low mark for my tests....have nothing to say anymore. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

6 Feb 2006 4:58pm

After Mass.

Everyone going home.
But, not the students.
Their bus will come late.
So, they'll find food.
Dinner at Taman University.
In a chinese food shop.
Ordering for pork meal.
Sweet and sour pork.
Together with rice.
Sit in combined table.
Big table, big group.
Chat while waiting.
Laughing at themself.
only time for enjoy.

Fernella and SylVy.
Two funny girls.
Any boy will fear.
Their speaked words.
lacked of manners.
in horrible ways.
But never a gossip.
Yet, it's merrier.
Later, the bus come.
They'll talk there.
Never stop, never.
until reach hostel.
that's after mass.

15 Jan 2006 Sunday.

Church

The house of God.
two months of my truancy.
Skudai Christian Centre.
A Roman Catholic's church.
A shop-like small chapel.
Can't find any better.

Small but never full.
mostly UTM parishioner.
Students from Borneo.
Come for saturday evening.
English and Malay Mass.
As an understandable mass.

Early comers may sit anyway.
Any seats for everyone.
The right-front are choir's.
Choir who are also student.
Left side seated by students.
The Mid maybe the anyone.

Choir still doing practice.
Guitar, Organ as music.
Singing the common songs.
Those who had nothing to do.
who are mostly early comers.
Will chat until mass started.

The process is all the same.
Hymns, slightly different.
Three weekly bible readings.
Collection only done once.
Important Holy Communion.
Announcement and Conclusion.

Everyone's seem very happy.
Happy with the good news.
Happy the mass is ended.
It's time to go home.
They'll spread good news.
Until the next Saturday.

15 Jan 2006

Do you Believe...

Do you believe the existance of God?
God, the creator of everythings.
If you believe, that's really good.
If you don't, leave it to me.
I'll prove to you in short time.

Open your eyes and look there.
Yes! you can see a long way road.
Stubborn hazel still stone on it.
Have you ever wonder of one question?
who put that stone on that road?

So what is you answer?...
No, not exist by itself
Well, whatever or whoever is it.
There must be something or someone.
try to make a general deduction.

Who put our earth in this universe?
Someone, something or some-One?
Yeah,what or who ever it is.
He is God and I had prove it.
Do you believe the existance of God?

14 Jan 2006 - it's been months uncle Desmond told me this.

...a peaceful night.

Tommorow is Saturday.
Church, I must go.
now listening to music.
I'll be there song.
sang in various versions.
Jackson 5 and Mariah Carey.
Last but newest, westlife.
nice and sweet love song.
Never able to sing it.

It's 1.43 am Satuday.
Studying Mathematics.
Differential Equation.
I'm lack of fundamental.
I wished to revise.
revise means look back,
But in front of me...
and on shoulders of me.
full of yesterday works.

it's a wasted Friday.
I overslept till noon.
wasted the free moment.
Friday is my free day,
Yet I didn't appreciate it.
Games instead of study.
So be it, it's over.
I have to pay back tonight
.....what a peaceful night.


1.53 am-saturday 14 Jan 2006.

Tooth Paste

Tooth Paste.
Had you figure out?
had you experienced it?
had you tried it?
Morning without it.

12 Jan 2006

The rainy night.

my brain have problem.
He doesn't want to study.
it keep on thinking.
Flashing back the past.
weakening the pounding heart.
Slowing the blood circulate.
loosening the muscles.

my brain, I blamed.
had become so stubborn.
Maybe it turned stupid.
Why can't I control him.
I can't control any side.
live with too emotional.
too weak and fragile.

How I wish I could start.
make the first move.
move to open the book.
sit and study steadily.
fill him until the morning.
ok, talk nonsense no more.
just walk the talk. Start!

Untitled...

Please don't find me.
I am lacked of what you have
Just leave me alone in this room
the dark room with only me.
there's no one could go in.
I won't allowed anyone.

I am sicked, please leave me.
Don't be so nice to me.
I won't be please with you.
No you don't understand.
Perhaps maybe but please don't
I don't wish to seek any help.

Don't try to understand me.
I don't want you to know.
It's in me for so long.
Let it be only in me alone.
Alone with my self with it.
live the life like this forever.

ransacked!

What's an unworthy to be trusted.
The blue locker was opened without key.
Everything's still endangerly fine.
But he'd targetted what's interesting.
The 6 cm radius plate in the blue box.
He searched for what's black recorded.
He found them, a lot of them.
He's glad and there he fulfil himself.
He put it back improperly in the box.
inappropriate way as easily to be known.
to be spotted as they were disturbed.
Later when everything seem to be normal.
The boy as the owner come back very late
Owner knew it and don't like it.
Owner regretted not to keep it safely.
now he'd been labelled as a supplier.
now then he keep it in safer spot.
at least for this after tracked moment.

11 Jan 2006

Sensitive issue... I know but...I'm Curious.

Today 12 Jan 2006, I was supposed to get my long nap for th whole afternoon, but I forget my key in my room. So I went to the library and slept uncomfortably there. Despite a weary and sleepy physical, I still managed to get myself sit still and surt the internet. Thanks, Jesus Christ.

Ok ok....Let me explain why I surf such probihited to discuss (at least in my area) document in the internet...It is very sensitive and usually our mind we automatically blocked from searching such 'illegal' file due to religious faith or something else.

But, i felt that the few years back I was wondering about it. I am not faith ful to my own religion....it's true. Why?

there's a malay proverb "tak kenal, maka tak cinta."(any appropriate word to translate this? - if you don't know, you won't love it.) was almost perfectly describe why i don't really being faithful to God.

Yet, I just learned some issue that had quite related to religion recently from my Aunties- the Princess Diana, The Da Vinci Code, Nostrasdamus and so on. That's really burned my starter to make a move to break the normal thinking into super curious.

ok, I just found two website:

http://www.answering-islam.org/

http://www.answering-christianity.com/ac.htm

I don't think I would have the time to read all of them. I just wanna mention that I found the answering-christianity.com first and I read more from it. I really hate it....

For those who haven't ready to face such issue please leave. Hehe....

4th of january~

Wednesday early morrow 2.45a.m. 4 jan 2006 still haven't sleep yet.
a bit feeling stressed when thinking about tutorial work... a lot of them and I haven't get any of the hand out.
Just felt very sleepy in every class.because that night i can't sleep - play game, learn Auto CAD and when i tried to sleep, my room mate XXX and I can't sleep. at 2 pm feeling much much more want to slumb. at about 3.20 pm the lecturer announced that there'll be no class on the next Monday and the class ended....You see it! I was like winning a jack pot...see delight with that announcement. So I planned to go back to Aunty Flocy House on Thursday afternoon and go back until UTM next wednesday, I hate thinking of goin back to UTM. Haha. Oh ya...without realizing why, I felt fresh and not sleepy anymore.
I just asked the approval from my academic advisor for taking the second year subject. I am going to be very busy this semester. One more thing that could have made me busy was the co-curriculum which I joined swimming. it started tommorow but I don't have any idea how to go to the MBJB larkin for trainning. huh!
Busy...How I wish I could just stay at home...doing nothing but feel relieve much more.



at 5.27 a.m. Still not sleeping. won't be sleeping lorr..Watching "Flying by Heart" While studying Applied Mechanics. ermm. i wonder how....?
I tried to do some of the question but failed lorrr...that really alarm me where am i now...

about 8 am I went to pay and settle my insert subject application...Lost RM25....
Money....I eat breakfast, a cheap and I considered as break lunch.

Today I had Ko-Q, co-curriculum and I got Swimming. I suppose to get ready at the Ko-Q department before 2 pm but due to overslept and uneffective alarm clock, I woke up at 1.55 pm and rushed out my room. On the way i met Kimberly Han, a sweet Chemical student whom I knew since 2002-work in the same hotel as a banquet, with her friends. So I slower my path, had simple chat with her and eventually missed the bus. A free fair bus specially for swimming trainee. waaaaaa! The officer suggested me to go to Larkin-the place where the trainning are held. Wait a minute....see when I looked at the time, it was only 2.02 p.m. I wonder why in no time, malaysians become so punctual.

So I made a promt decision to get there and first of all i got a taxi to Taman U. Taxi was prohibited by myself as 2006 resolution in planning to control my financial defisit but I broke it. lost Rm5.00. However taking taxi to Taman U was a big mistake actually, because at taman U, there is no bus going to Larkin. So in Taman U I took a JB bus for RM3.00.

Just about 5 minutes, I saw two busses which taking Pontian-Larkin at the back. So I get down from the bus-see wasted already, but I wanted to avoid too much time consumed before I reach Larkin. Then, how was my fate dilocated so badly when both busses didn't stop at the bus stop I was standing at. The Drivers weren't even looked at me who was waving hand at them. Ermm...
So I walk until I reached Skudai parade and get another Pontian-Larkin Bus for Rm2.00 as a fair. Then when i reached Larking I wasn't sure where is it....It was started rainning whereby I took people whom asked for direction, suggestion to take a taxi to go to Kolam renang MBJB Larkin. I got at the stall market back side taxi which I was told to be cheaper. ok rm4.00

Die... Die...after paying the taxi, I don't have enough money! for the month...now left rm2.00.

Ok the swimming lesson which the instructor was a cool young guy with a perfect swimming physical and he told me - the late comer to change before going into the pool....what pool was it?...the deepest was only 6 feet. I considered shallow.... So what I learn...two basic skill of floating...quite hard but I manage to confirmed my instructor of my understanding and ability during the test without any repeats.

Uh...after swim, my stomach, ache of hungriness, painful. So when I get back to UTM...this time by the no cost bus, I went straight to the ATM machine and withdraw my leftover cash....wah lau way....last rm50.......I stopped my plan to feed my stomach. went to the library, read news and write this....

Money......but I still stick to my plan for tomorrow, that is to go back to Aunty flocy house after class.

all had started again.

New Year. My new year main resolution is to get a better grade in both semesters of 2006.

so What i did for welcoming 2006. I didn't do anything except play Dota. But uncle Desmond come to fetch us and we had a Mc Donald a Lunch and later Lance, Louis and I were brought to Uncle Clay's House to watch King Kong DVD. Nice Movie. Funny, exciting, thrilling and Sad.

as the time nearl 12 am(new Year)!! Uncle desmond brought us to Orange Cafe which almost full house and there were band singing on one corner.(We had invited Aunty Vianey, but decline as Lora also don't want to join-Just like me during Christmas. Hmmm!). we ate fried Chicken (If I was in Sabah i might had eat roasted Chicken wings.) . The 2006 year come and we had the chance to see fireworks everywhere. We had quite lot of chat about history, theory, famous people and world stories which nothing to do with Dota. So no barbecue for this new year but at least there is something happening in me.

After That Uncle Desmond wanted to play games but i insisted that I needed to go back, because I need to packed my stuff. So when we reach Aunty Flocy's house, there was few more fire Works on the new promising dark sky. Aunty Vianey also came out to see.

So, the first thing I did was had a wash. later Dota until the morning come. Hahaha. then I started to clean the house. I felt dizzy when I looked the house dirtiness, and i couldn't do it alone so I just did what i could...then a 1 pm I had a nap untill 5pm. Aunty Vianey woke up just the time when I was about to nap. then when I woke up, I played Dota but Lance and Louis weren't there. Then I packed my stuff...and at 9 pm I called the taxi using Aunty Vianey phone.

I felt very heavy heart actually to leave and to start college again. I just don't know why is it when I spend more time there the much more I don't want to leave (I still remember that I use to have such feeling during my primary school). I had skipped the whole classes for last week butI still feel very hard to get start. I really don't like UTM larrrr....If I dare to just quit like what Alex did to matriculation...but I know I won't. My inside was like very heavy but my mind keep telling me you better go sooner or you'll pay for it.

The Taxi come and loaded it with my stuff. With short good bye, I left the house without looking back. Hahaha....

At Utm...the taxi charged me Rm35 but I got rm30 later after telling him that it use to be rm25. Then problem come when my room was locked. I hate the feeling when there is people looking at me. So I sneaked in from the window and unpacked my stuff then sleep...