MON my friend...thank you

I know this is my chance to see the other dimension of Malaysia whom self-proclaim to be Malaysia Truly Asia. I cannot wat until the day come. I was assigned to be expose to the Mon Refugee Organization (M.R.O) in Kuala Lumpur (K.L) together with Anglina Albinus. I had contact the leader, Nay Thy Wonna of MRO and we were given their address. On 27^th November 2008, the first part of the exposure was taken place at Perch, Batu Arang, Selangor. Reaching there traveling by busses and trains. I learned the house is built up for the marginalized sick people and I can see many of them. I got the chance to know a Myanmar boy name Amon who can plays the guitar very good and we sing some songs for whole evening for everyone. Other than that, the whole salt exposure group was introduced to Rosemary who is the head of the A.C.T.S (A Call To Serve) organization which serve the needy. I stay at the Shelter home with the Myanmar Refugees for a night.

Next morning, Angelina and I travel to KL together with other teams. On the journey, the leader Wonna keep on asking where are we. I felt Nay Thy Wonna really cannot wait to see us and he was worried that we may had got lost. When we reach Pudu, he fetch us. I can immediately feel his friendliness and kindness when he fetch us with eagerness and big smile. The MRO office is situated at 9^th Floor, Pudu Plaza, KL. The place was very good, clean and well order. I feel that the community is trying very hard to make a good living there. Then we shared about the life in the MRO, I got the know few people, wonna whom work as a social worker, Jowen the English teacher and more. Most of sharing is about their reason and journey to Malaysia.

One of the best sharing among them was by Kong Chan Khit a young man who was about my age. He is among the well English speaking Mon people and a University of Moulmein student whom did not finished because of the country situation. He came to Malaysia in 2004 because he was force to join the military. He escaped and manage to come to Malaysia through Thailand. Each border crossing, he need to pay the agent a lot sum of money. He was drop at Butterworth, Penang and was force to work without salary for 7 months. At one point of his years in Malaysia, he met a good man named Mr. Kong whom sponsor his education fee in APIIT college K.L. But after some years, the man leave for Taiwan. He had lot of working experience as a refugee in Malaysia and he was among the lucky one because he never got caught or beaten by police, RELA force or the bad citizens. Kong had also share some story about the Mon Dynasty whom once the most feared Kingdom but now no more. Even the Mon people was slowly converted to become Burmese when the Junta order arise. Many of them were killed and run to other country. Kong is now waiting for the UN to send him to the third country. Kong is a very humble man. Although he had his own room, he rather sleep outside at the living room accompanying me for the two nights.

Other than that, I had the chance to go to the Hospital Kuala Lumpur accompanying Wonna and one friend a Mon member name Nay Chek Goon. Sadly he was suspected to have dengue. I hope he get well soon.

On the last day of exposure, I took the chance to take many photos of the good refugee friends even with the kids. I hope to stay longer because they are very nice to me. They also presented me their annual T-shirt, badge, and towel, I also bought myself a “gloit” a tradition cloth like ‘sarong’.I am kind of feeling heavy hearted to leave them, I really wish God bless them with happiness and solve their problems. I hope Myanmar obtained it democracy sooner. I will just pray.

Oh my English~

Gosh, I re-read my most recent post and i realized that my English writing is getting worse than before. I hope to brush up my tongue. talking about language. I am quite lucky to be able to speak in three major languages which are English, Malay and Mandarin.

I would like to thank my mum and dad whom sent me to SRJK school (mandarin medium school), and my aunties (I don't know which one) whom asked my parents to sent their children to go for Chinese School for good. Still remember Mrs Lee, my standard 5 English teacher whom I loved most because of her interesting class and also my aunties whom shows me the important of English language.

Mandarin? I just dont know since wheni was able to converse in it. When i was in the primary school all the subjects were taught in Mandarin except for language classes. So I just lived with it for 7 years (including kindergarden). i was punished by my teachers while he curse Mandarin language, My chinese friend talked to me in Mandarin, go for mandarin tuition and more. What was the thing I proud the most is when my Chinese friends during standard 3 told me that i can pronounced Chinese words correctly just like them. But I never seriously learned chinese language, I just lived with it.

My BM? It's very useful and I am proud to be Malaysian. But to confess one things, I failed my Malay language paper for my UPSR (Government paper for standard 6) which i got E. Because of such result I had to enter Removing Class (is this correct?) and I spend one year in the most life changing class. there I met crazy, spoilt, and bully people and I started to do well in my study for the rest of my life. I loves that year.

One language that i feel bad not to be able to speak is my father tongue! yaiksss. Dusun/Kadazan language. I know few word which i guess only 0.001% of the language. Hahaha! despite the weekly mass in my village were using Dusun/Kadazan language, i failed to lived with it.

So, i want to learn Dusun/Kadazan. wish me luck

G.I.F.T band

I still remember since i was first year I was waiting to sing on stage. this Passion overwhelm me so much and disturb my study and revision most of my time. The only choice in front of me that time was the Choir Team of UTM. I was selected to help the strong Tenor group. I was glad cause at least I sing. And in UTM choir, we are though to sing professionally by the expert coach Pak Herman. Thanks Pak.

Anyway as time passed, I felt choir no longer can fulfil my intention. I never feel moving forwar in choir. I guessed things need to change. So i tried to be a Worship Leader in GIFT. Yeah, doing this really boost up my confindence to sing in fron of the crowd. Sorry Lord I never meant to use Praise and Worship session as my practice stage. I appreciated it so much.

But then i come to realized that my voice in out of my controlled. i couldn't make use proper vibrates, High notes and all the professional skill. Its true... I never knew this until the I was in end of year 2. But i did nothing to it.

In year 3, the only highlight for my singing passiong was the MJCC battle of the band. We called our self "In the Name". I still remember I received a loud claps and cried from the crowds but not the judges...the judges simply don't like me. First my band name was critic as "in the name", should have only three members as in the holy family-Jesus, Mary and Joseph, but my band have 5 members. Second, the judge don't like my acting, my expression by body language and so on. I couldn't accept these in for months.

The only comments that i guest relevant was by judge-mark anthony: You are good in attracting people attention but your voice need to be done something. Thank you so much Judges... My band lost- BIG lost to other band. I feel bad caused I had brought my band for intensive practice, you know- money and time wasted so much. what's more disturbed me was the other bands who won the battle band 1st to 3rd place did only few times of practice and they won happilly. Ok Ok stop it, I am not condemn the judge but myself for ruinning my band's effort and hopes. Sorry Guys.

But still I would like to express my thousand thankful to my Ex-band member-Guitarist: Roland, Bassist:Raymond, Bernard:Keyboardis, and Drummer:Daniel. Sorry and thank you. I hope we can be together again.

So after being a big losser, I still stand up. ok hahaha. Ok. in year 4, i had made my mind to go for any competition. erm but for this semester I only joined 2 competitions. One is for the "Malam Mutiara Seni" singing competition which I sang "janjiku-Sofaz" karaoke and I lost. I don't mind losing but actually i sang badly-voice cracked happened due to the high picth. Haha... Then the last one was during the convocation season in the "Pesta Convo" with my new band.

Ok, this is my good intension actually. I had a feeling that some of the Juniors have the passion on musics too. and it could be easily identified when the Gift Music Ministry(GMM) found them and recruite them to play for Weekly Mass. I guess they also interested to form a band.

then come the month of August when by the Pesta Convo will be held. I contact my previous band (In the Name)- only contacted roland actually. He told me he cannot make it cause he have to go back to his home town during the break. Ok, Band In The Name erased from my head. Erm I did contacted Daniel too, but I have to dropped him cause I found new direction for the battle.

I was lucky to find Eric-Guitarist from GMM. During WWF, I found Andreas-Drummer and Lorna-Vocalist to fill this new band. I knew I can do something about this. Then I insisted Bernard-Keyboadist to join this band and also Filipi-the well promoted bassist by Roland. hehehe to complete the band.

It was a great moment for me while in this band. i get to know them especially juniors. I wanna highlight here that even Eric seem to be very cool and quiet in the real but when messaging he seem to be a very kind and warm person. Hahaha...I put him a the golden boy in my friendster picture because i feel that he is the one who gave the golden idea of the chosen songs with cool improvisary.

Ok, For the band we got Hilang-Garasi, Gemuruh-Faizal Tahir and Standing In Eyes-Ella with little rock version for the musical part. It's not that easy for us to enter the competition. I have to reveal that the organizer did not allowed for female singer in the band. They did not state it in the rules and regulation. We were frustrated but still came out with plan A, B and C. I prefer plan A which was to see the Student Counsels and ask permision to allowed Lorna to participate the battle, plan B was the worst which to let me sing alone...NO NO NO thenPlan C is to choose new singer in the eleventh hour-Karlvin was in our mind.

So about a week before the competition, to tell you our songs was not perfect yet but we wer very sure join. we (me, Eric, Lorna and Gu- I still remember lorna was wearing very formal, and Andreas were wearing sandals which frighten us as the Student Councel was a very strict area) went to the Administration Buidling and look for the guy than can help us with this appeal.

to cut short, the guy (forgot his name la) allowed us. yeahoo. so practice continued. oh yeah, we named our band as G.I.F.T and we all agreed to it.

It was on the 17th of August, our group have to wait until the instrument arrived and one more bad news the organiser did not prepared keyboard. Bernard keep on telling me there were no keyboard on the stage while other band we battling. I had ask Didi's help to fecth me to take my keyboad in my room. Fuh...! Just before our turn, we make a short prayer while holding tight each others hand. Thank You Lord, we managed to performed greatly, the preliminary was fun-almost perfect. check this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SgDfgCN55Q


Not waiting for the result cause it take long time for the preliminary to finished. So most of us went to Filipi's room to check for the video taken with Eric camera. yeah, Jackson was there too. we watched our performance and quite satisfied with it. Then after few hour i received a call by the organizer. He asked my band to come for final. hahaha...my group member laugh out loud

During final, I can many people watching the competition and the organiser used sms voting method to choose the winner apart from the judges marks. I was happy to see a lot of GIFTers and even MCG came to support G.I.F.T band. We were second to perform after the Houdinix band. check this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcCeMSs4OZQ

So, from part,I did badly in my speech-urghhhh! my voice? i did not do it nicely, I had voice changing again! Lorna did it perfectly although she told me she almost forget the Hilang lyric. Filipi? there's problem with the technical part that night. I can hardly hear the perpective perfector factor - bass sound. Eric forget to turn up the volume for Hilang most wanted intro, Bernard finger can't make the melodicful part but Andreas did it well better than the preliminary. To say overall, is still good. not bad and satisfying.

The other band performance were good too. but highlight to Houdinix and Kerepek Pedas. there were cool, I heard from Bernard that they were the winners for previous Battle. I knew Kerepek peda vocalist - He is Christor...most GIFT knew him cause he performed during GIFT night and battled during MJCC battle of the Band. Check on houdinix and kerepek panas band performance:

Houdinix

Houdinix - Itu kamu

More on houdinix

Kerepek Pedas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBaadCjdwZ8

thanks to the person who upload it.

the Result. ok we were just relax from the outside but feel nervous but when all the consolation prizes was given away, we were release a bit, and ready to walk on stage. So the third place belongs to us GIFT. Thank you Lord. Second goes to Kerepek Pedas and the winner is Houdinix. Congratulation to the winner.

for us, we were satisfied. we won something. Thank you all for supporting us. to my band member thank a lot, hope we can do this again next time.

What to update in my life-blog...

So, I am in my room-connecting to the internet using DIGI Campus. DIGI campus is a student plan that allow student to call and sms for cheaper rate. It also have internet connection by having diginet a point network for RM 30 a month. the internet connection is about 115.2 kbps and it's quite slow but still trustable.

finish about DIGI campus. So i did not work out today. just cutting my food. eat a pack of chicken maggie for dinner and had a tea break with a bun at 6pm. I was wondering if i could achieve my goal to have my abs flatten...

Now..

So here I am, very long time never update this blog. I just can't find any good idea to blog. It's like everything shouldn't be written. ok ok but I guess i don't wanna stop. I will just write anything if i got the time.

exam is just around the corner and i need to do good in my final year. recently i was very busy with my final degree Project. I'm glad that it all over. thank God.

After exam, i'll joinning a Campus Ministry program SALT. go and check youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVqts-6Nhx0

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9RJ2gHGvKQ

for more info, I am the creator of that video, ok I know it very amateur. It my first time and I use window movie maker only but, I love my work.

I am also the publicist and treasurer of SALT program. I have to deal with money.

Ok, What's after SALT? On the 10th of Dec I'll be back home. Thanks to my mum, she bought me the flight ticket. Thanks also to Aunty flocy for helping me.

anyway, at home? What's my plan! one of the most important is to do continue my final project. talk about it later.

other than that, my family members have planned a lot of things for this year end. From the 19th to 1st january, there will be a marathon of party, dinner, event and so forth. I hope i can handle all.

apart from that I hope I got some work from my agency. It's been a very long time I did not contact them but how i wish to be working with them again as a crew, clown or model...

model? ok ok i am not there yet, but i hope to be one at least for little experience. I don't dare to tell anyone about this.

The logo beside is my agency logo- its fairuz modelling agency. I a little shy to say about that because i haven't not work as a model yet but as crew and clown only. I hope to model for this agency. The people in that agency are very nice especially Mrs Amal, Calista, Mr Alan, Ridz, and more. Hope to see you guys again this september.

one more thing that i felt critical is about my body figure i have a big stomact but skiny body. Maybe because of my eating habit and lack of exercise caused all this. I am very lazy to move my ass around for any trainning of even a simple jog. I need to work this thing out. A model need a good body figure and good attitude.

ok i hope I can make it.

the inner feeling...for one of my friend.

I don't want to act,
It's make me looks stupid.
I just don't know what to do,
to please you or my self.

I feel nervous, happy and scared.
yeah that's what i felt...
Whenever i see you.
but I always wish to see you.

sometimes i got the chance,
Sometimes I just miss it,
but when time is good,
I will try to not to appreciate it.

I guess I am hypocrite,
yeah true but I can be true..
truest to myself or being my self.
I just lost for who I am.

so recently we don't speak much
I don't know why...
is it me or you?
I feel awkward and dislike it.

ok, whenever i start a topic.
a topic about anything..
everything seems goes wrong
I know why...!

It's me for not being myself.
hypocrite in my way,
I hope to get over this...
but I can't be myself.

maybe because i don't like it
I don't like my way,
maybe I should change.
Can I do it.

People say just be yourself...
i think their only 50% right,
how about the criminal, the stupid one..
or the self hater like me...

Self hater...not really
I am not a real self hater,
but I hate some part of me..
I don't want to be that part.

I want to change it.
it not easy...
but it's not impossible.
I will try...

I will try not to be hypocrite...
to be faithful but not being bullied,
to be real but in the right way
to create myself not to find it.

I hope one day in my life..
I'll let you know.
the true of me
and hope you too...

Kaamatan..

So I was still in Batu Pahat, and Edrin organized a kaamatan+gawai celebration in his house on the 31st in Skudai. Of course I don't want to miss it.

I got off day and go to Skudai riding with Meo. Thanks Meo..

Cool-Edrin indeed had prepare very well, the food, the activities, drink, 'ritual' and bbq.

Special guest: Fr Jojo, Aunty Teresa, Uncle David, Paulus, Peter, Terence, charlces and Meo...hehe

thanks again Edrin.

I playing safe now..

at nite, I always hope u are in my arms.
I will warm the cold nite.
I want to watch you sleep-soundly.

at work, i thought of you.
I know we'll meet again,
but i can't wait that moment.
Cus I missed you so much.

And at time we were together,
I feel great...
But somehow, dont know why,
I felt incomplete.

When we were talking,
I admire your sweer voice,
I 'm inspired by your words.
Weekend O please come.

I can get through anything.
but not this
the feeling of missing you.
It's strentening me.

In the church..
I always want to sit with you
To worship God with you.
To feel God's grace upon us.

Now I'm writing this.
Just to tell you.
as I love you but couldn't
no I just couldn't say it.

I hope this letter is enough,
greatly to express my feeling.
I'm playing safe now.
I won't take risk.

Dee

Dee texted me on the second day of our LI.

Dee:
Wei mcmna li? D
manala ko tnggl?


Dee:
Sy d sni tampoi
utma, tggal d pulai
utma. Teda jg, sja2
tnya. Mcamnala ko
p li..Jauh jg tu..

Gerard:
Pulai utma rumah
pastor? Sia di
tmpat kami XXX
tggal dlu. sia
guna bas. 2 bas
tp kalau x sempat
sia tidur sana
rumah setinggan.
haha asal boleh
idup. Ba dee-kalau
ada plan ujung mggu kastau. tp
sia kerja sabtu.
sbab mau jaga site
kan. Fashion show
pun kastau. Kau
apa kabar? apala
Kerja kau?

Dee:
Bkan, sy tggl d
ruma bro dkat dgn
giant tman u. sy ok
jg ni. Ko mcamna?
Sy d pjbt ja ni skrg
kna suru fham prjk
yg dorg bt bru kna
hntr p site. Ko
apala krja kna bg?
Ba nti sy kshtau
klu ada plan hjng
mggu. Sy pn krja
hri sbtu. tp stngh
hri jala. Fshn show
31 mei nti..

Gerard:
Sia pun duduk2 ja
di ofice kmarin.
Baru kna antar p
site hari ni. O dpan
giant? Uina, ada
charles and jephra
juga sana tu.
Anyway skrg sia
buat formwork
utk stump Dee,
kau perna dgr
PDA-Pile data
analysis?

Dee:
Bkan yg di dpn
giant. yg sblh kri
giant, lalu 2 trffc
light lg..Sy x prnh
bt o 2 PDA.. Ko jam
bpa msuk sma blik
kja?

Gerard:
8am-5.30pmm. lama
kan, rehat jam
1-2pm! haha. tu
kontraktor ckp
utm teruk tdak
ajar PDA..
Kemarin sia
kana suru kira
concrete, gila,
sia bantai trus
p tana engineer
dan qS ni.
Haha.

Dee:
Lbh krng smala
kta. tp sy stat
8.30am-5.30pm.
Rhat 12.30 smpi
1.30. Sy pn kna
mrah ni kmrn p
bca newspapr tme
kja..Borng ni,kna
suru bca file
projek..Ko blik
skudai ka hri ni?

Gerard:
Haha, sia pun
baca news smpai
tidur2 lg tapuk2.
Kau kena bg site
plan ka. Balik
napa dee ada
plan?

Dee:
Ada sy kna bt tp
prjk yg lma
pnyala. kna suru
tgok..Teda jg grad. blum da plan
lg..

Gerard:
Oh yaka. Ok ja,
jgn lupa, blajar VB.
K. Tetau bila kita
bulih jumpa
dr Shahrin ni.
Blajar ja la.

At that nite, Dee invite me to go out but heaven no I don't want and I can't-very far...maybe next time.