the inner feeling...for one of my friend.

I don't want to act,
It's make me looks stupid.
I just don't know what to do,
to please you or my self.

I feel nervous, happy and scared.
yeah that's what i felt...
Whenever i see you.
but I always wish to see you.

sometimes i got the chance,
Sometimes I just miss it,
but when time is good,
I will try to not to appreciate it.

I guess I am hypocrite,
yeah true but I can be true..
truest to myself or being my self.
I just lost for who I am.

so recently we don't speak much
I don't know why...
is it me or you?
I feel awkward and dislike it.

ok, whenever i start a topic.
a topic about anything..
everything seems goes wrong
I know why...!

It's me for not being myself.
hypocrite in my way,
I hope to get over this...
but I can't be myself.

maybe because i don't like it
I don't like my way,
maybe I should change.
Can I do it.

People say just be yourself...
i think their only 50% right,
how about the criminal, the stupid one..
or the self hater like me...

Self hater...not really
I am not a real self hater,
but I hate some part of me..
I don't want to be that part.

I want to change it.
it not easy...
but it's not impossible.
I will try...

I will try not to be hypocrite...
to be faithful but not being bullied,
to be real but in the right way
to create myself not to find it.

I hope one day in my life..
I'll let you know.
the true of me
and hope you too...